Give Me a Moment
by Tira Archer
Summary: Elladan remembers one of the most troublesome times in his life.


**Lost Horizons is a series of stories I have been writing off and on for a long time. They are not available for viewing here, but shortly will be on my website (if you bother to read my profile, you'd see where that is). **

**This was written for the MCI January Challenge: **_take one of the provided songs and write a story between 500 and 5000 words long that relates back to the song. use of lyrics is optional. Must include one of the twins and Aragorn._

The story being told here would take place somewhere between chapters 11 and 14 of As Long As It Matters, the third in the series.

The song I used is **Crash & Burn**, written by Jason Wade and performed by Lifehouse.**

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**Give Me a Moment  
**_a Lost Horizons song-fic _

_Well all the lies are catching up to me  
__I just can't put it down and go to sleep  
__I close my eyes and all that I can see  
__Is someone who I'm never gonna be  
__Could you remind me to forget  
__The things I did, the things I said_

Elladan's arm swept out smoothly, neatly decapitating the goblin in front of him. He had been resting, leaned up against the rocks in what passed for sleep lately, a restless unfulfilling period of time. They had ambushed him. Why not? A lone elf, seemingly an easy target. He stood amid the small battle circle, the night slowly giving way to day. In the early light of the rising sun Elladan saw only destruction; saw only blood. Closing his eyes against the sight he wept.

_Now the scars keep screaming back at me  
__The ones I love are lost in memories  
__I wish that I could take back what was done  
__You can only change the person you've become  
__Well I've been broken I've been wronged  
__Yeah I've been hurt but I'll move on  
__I have to try to find a way to leave it all behind_

Binding up his minor hurts, Elladan remained where he was. The stink of the goblin bodies was enough to attract the few daytime scavengers, but they warily avoided the elf. Why did he torture himself like this? Why did he continue through life? His actions had lost him those dearest to his heart, his wife and daughter. If only he had the courage to go after her. He should never have allowed her to leave, should never have accepted her declaration of intent. But he had. He had not said anything to stop her, to change the events that later unfolded. He had failed.

He had felt lost since that day he had watched her leave, sitting proudly astride the mare he had raised and trained; the horse had been given in love, and she had named the little horse Elwenaro, _heartfire_. Elladan growled and pulled the knot tight, relishing the pain it brought. He did not want to remember. He had to move on, continue along. But he knew that was close to impossible.

_Yeah I've been hurt and I've been scarred  
__At least I know that I'm alive  
__And if I fall and crash and burn  
__At least we know that I tried_

Days passed in a blur. Elladan did not know anymore, nor did he care, of the passage of time. His life was devoted only to forgetting, to destroying. If he was destroyed in the process, so be it. He had nothing left to live for. Each fight he had, each goblin he slay…they no longer mattered. They were only something to take his pain and anger out on. He knew what had started these feelings, the gripping pain of loss and abandonment. First his mother, then his wife. He could not hold onto anything he loved. He had tried, but had failed miserably.

The movements came from memory. He no longer had to think of what he was doing, just let the fight take him over. He knew that one day he would be killed, but he no longer cared. He felt the sword, a monstrous, twisted and dirty looking blade, slice into his stomach, but the pain did not follow. He was too far into the fight to care. With a cry he lunged at the offending creature, hacking and slashing until he collapsed to his knees. The creature laughed, and Elladan saw the foot come up, felt it connect with his head. With a shout of rage, the elf got to his feet and thrust his blood-encrusted sword into the goblin. With what seemed to be surprised the creature died. Pushing the nasty thing off the blade, Elladan stumbled around and faced his last opponent. This one grinned. He could see the elf was hurt, perhaps mortally wounded. It would be easy.

_All of the things that I try to say  
__All of the words just got in the way  
__I'm waiting here I need your help  
__Don't leave me down here all by myself_

Shutting the pain out, Elladan lurched towards the goblin. He knew his hip was out of place, that had happened when he had been pushed from the boulder, yet he forced his leg to do his bidding. If he was going to die, he would die fighting. His blade clashed with that of the orc, jarring Elladan's hand, but he resolutely clung to it. He would take this one down with him. In what seemed forever, but happened in the space of seconds, the goblin kicked out and his foot connected with Elladan's thigh, the sharp crack of bone resounding in the otherwise still air. Surprised, Elladan's eyes grew wide as he fell forward, but managed to get his sword unlocked from the hilt of the goblin's and thrust it straight through as he over-balanced. The orc died with a shocked look and Elladan allowed gravity to take him down, rolling off the dirty thing and letting himself rest there, amidst the bodies.

Pain took his mind away. He closed his eyes in relief, unknowingly weeping as he let the darkness claim him. He knew that sooner or later he would be found. His brother would not allow him to die, despite what Elladan wished. Elrohir's love was the last thing he allowed himself to think of. It was the one love he had not yet lost. But Elladan knew it was only a matter of time.

_I hope that you can bring me back  
__I've got to make it right  
__And if I fall and crash and burn  
__At least I know you're by my side  
__And as I crawl that lessons learned  
__And it reminds me I'll survive  
__And I've been hurt and I've been scarred  
__At least I know that I'm alive  
__And if I fall and crash and burn  
__At least we both know that I tried_

Weeks. He had lain here for weeks in this room. He knew he was fading. He wanted it to happen. He had lost almost all he held dear and there was nothing left. Suddenly he heard the door open, but instead of his father or brother trying to convince him to eat, to open his eyes, Elladan smelled the sharp scent of pine and horse, and the underlying but always beautiful scent of roses. Without daring to hope, he raised a hand to the head that lay sobbing into his chest and stroked the hair. Opening his eyes he looked down and let out the breath he'd been holding in.

"Óltinu…" He said. "You came back."

_Time Shift: 2152 of the Third Age_

"Elladan, why did you never tell me?"

Elladan laughed bitterly. "Aragorn, little brother, it has taken me a long time to overcome what happened hundreds of years ago. We do not have perfect memories, but what we keep has meaning."

"But why now?"

"You are leaving Imladris. I felt you should know. Besides, little bother, it is time I got such things off my chest and began to truly heal."

"First of all, I am not a bother," Aragorn huffed. "but secondly, thank you for confiding in me."

"Thank you for listening."


End file.
